Newsletter Issue 21
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...Our Grand Illusions of Superiority
When researchers asked students to rate their ability to get along with others, 70 percent rated themselves in the top 10 percent. Ninety-four percent of people say they are doing a better job than their average colleague. Most men and women think they are both irresistibly sexy and good-looking.
Our illusions of superiority are so widespread; we think we are so much better than we are. Here are seven suggestions to help you transcend ingrained ideas of self-importance. All of these are designed to help prevent you from falsely identifying with the self-important ego.
1. Stop being offended.
The behaviour of others isn’t a reason to become immobilised. That which offends you only weakens you. If you’re looking for occasions to be offended, you’ll find them at every turn. This is your ego at work convincing you that the world shouldn’t be the way it is. You cannot become an appreciator of life by being offended. By all means, act to help eradicate the horrors of the world, but when possible always try to stay in peace. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place and leads to attack, counterattack, and eventually all-out war.
2. Let go of your need to win.
Have you ever noticed how people in power consistently try to divide us and keep us separated, our egos usually embraces this “conveniently created” battle and in turn attempts to separate us into winners and losers. Red party against the blue party, one football team against another, male versus female, one country over another, the examples are endless. By keeping us divided, our benevolent leaders keep us in a constant state of fear and in turn we become more manageable and submissive to their whims.
Whatever you do don’t fall for it; the pursuit of winning and being separate from another is a sure-fire means to disturb your inner peace. Why? Because ultimately, winning is impossible all of the time. Someone out there will be faster, luckier, younger, stronger, and smarter and back you’ll go to feeling worthless and insignificant in no time at all.
You’re not your winnings or your victories either. You may enjoy competing, and have fun in a world where winning is everything, but you don’t have to be there in your thoughts. There are no losers in a world where we all share the same energy source. All you can say on a given day is that you performed at a certain level in comparison to the levels of others on that day. But today is another day, with other competitors and new circumstances to consider. Let go of needing to win by not agreeing that the opposite of winning is losing. That’s ego’s fear. If your body isn’t performing in a winning fashion on this day, it simply doesn’t matter when you aren’t identifying exclusively with your ego. Be the observer, noticing and enjoying it all without needing to win a trophy. Be at peace, and match up with the energy of intention. Ironically, although you’ll hardly notice it, more of those victories will show up in your life as you pursue them less.
3. Let go of your need to be right.
Ego is the source of a lot of conflict and disagreement because it pushes you in the direction of making other people wrong. When you’re hostile, you’ve once again disconnected yourself from what’s actually happening. A heart-driven person is kind, loving, and receptive; and free of anger, resentment, or bitterness. Letting go of your need to be right in your discussions and relationships is like saying to ego, I’m not a slave to you. I want to embrace kindness, and I reject your need to be right. In fact, I’m going to offer this person a chance to feel better by saying that she’s right, and thank her for pointing me in the direction of truth.
When you let go of the need to be right, you’re able to strengthen your connection to that inner peace. But keep in mind that ego is a determined combatant. I consistently see people end otherwise beautiful relationships by sticking to their need to be right. I urge you to let go of this ego-driven need to be right by stopping yourself in the middle of an argument and asking yourself. Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the happy, calm and open-hearted mood, your connection to that inner place of happiness is strengthened.
4. Let go of your need to be superior.
True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be. Stay focused on “your” inner growth, with a constant awareness that no one on this planet is any better than anyone else. We all emanate from the same creative life force. We all have a mission to realize our intended purpose; all that we need to fulfil our destiny is available to us. None of this is possible when you see yourself as superior to others.
It’s an old saw, but nonetheless true: we are all equal. Let go of your need to feel superior by seeing the unfolding goodness in everyone. Don’t assess others on the basis of their appearance, achievements, possessions, and other trophies of ego. When you project feelings of superiority that’s what you get back, leading to resentments and ultimately hostile feelings. These feelings become the vehicle that takes you farther away from intention. This need to be special and superior will always make comparisons. It is established by a lack seen in another.
5. Let go of your need to have more.
The mantra of ego is “give me more, more, more”. It’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist that it isn’t enough. You’ll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving, and eliminate the possibility of ever arriving. Yet in reality you’ve already arrived, and how you choose to use this present moment of your life is your choice. Ironically, when you stop needing more, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you’re detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be truly satisfied and at peace.
With or without your consent life is constantly expanding and creating new life, never trying to hold on to its creations for its own selfish means. It creates and let’s go and as you learn to let go of your ego’s need to have more, you start to work in harmony with that life source. You create, attract to yourself, and let it go, never demanding that more come your way. As an appreciator of all that shows up, you learn the powerful lesson that…it is in giving that we receive.
6. Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements.
This may be a difficult concept if you think you are your achievements. The less you need to take credit for your achievements and the more connected you stay to these seven rules of intention, the more you’re free to achieve, and the more will show up for you. It’s when you attach yourself to those achievements and believe that you alone are doing all of those things that you leave in peace and gratitude.
7. Let go of your reputation.
Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all. If you speak to 30 people, you will have 30 reputations. Connecting to your inner self means listening to your heart and conducting yourself based on what your inner voice tells you is your purpose here. If you’re overly concerned with how you’re going to be perceived by everyone, then you’ve disconnected yourself from intention and allowed the opinions of others to guide you. Once again here this is your ego at work.
There’s nothing you can’t do, unless you are absolutely convinced that your purpose is to prove to others how masterful and superior you are and spend your energy attempting to win a giant reputation among other egos. My advice is to stay on course with your true purpose in focus, detach from outcome, and take responsibility for what does reside in you: your character. Leave your reputation for others to debate; it has nothing to do with you.
“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time.”
Deepak Chopra
“Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called Ego.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
For other resources on finding and developing your life purpose and learning to embrace life and achieve inner peace, please feel free to log on to my website on inspireyourmind.com. You are also welcome to continue to send in your comments, questions and/or suggestions. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and would appreciate it if you could continue to pass this knowledge forward and help expand our “Inspiring Minds” network by recommending this newsletter to friends and loved ones. Simply log on to inspireyourmind.com and fill in their details.
