Food for Your Brain

Each week my yoga instructor starts the class by warning the new students that they may feel awkward and that they will be getting the most benefit from attending class, more so than the experienced members.

He explains that muscles need to be challenged with new and different movements all the time. If they get used to specific movements, growth diminishes. You need to constantly be changing your routine to reap the best benefits. Feeling awkward is a good sign that growth will follow.

Isn’t this a great metaphor for life? We need new challenges to grow, and we need to learn how to delight in our awkwardness, whether it involves intimate conversations or learning how to dance.

FACT: We have to train our brains the same way as the muscles in our legs, arms or back. The brain needs new challenges on a regular basis to increase mental capacity. It also needs to be taken care of just as we care for our body to ensure peak performance.

Here are a few tips on how to build a strong and healthy brain.

Avoid chronic stress. Although stressing a muscle will help it to grow, muscles also break down if chronically stressed. The same is true for the brain. Chronic stress comes more from everyday worries than from traumatic events. Yoga and meditation may help with focus and physical performance, but the only way to reduce chronic stress is to learn how to identify the source of negative feelings, then let go of what is not in your control and act on what is. Anybody can deplete stress levels and enhance their brain functions by better managing their worries. An experienced coach educated in emotional intelligence can help you become aware of your emotional states and how to shift them at will.

Balance your work-rest ratio. Body builders don’t work their muscles every day. Muscles need time to heal if they are to grow stronger. The same is true for the brain. If it is constantly working, the result will be frustration, anxiety and loss of concentration. What’s worse, when we feel a little tired, we usually fuel our bodies with coffee? Running on adrenalin only decreases mental capacity. Instead, you should take regular mental breaks. Walk the halls, go outside for a breath of fresh air, or call a friend or loved one. Many studies show that people that take frequent breaks can work fewer hours and get more done. A renewed and fresh brain works more efficiently. Besides, when you are doing something “mindless,” the brain has a chance to activate more pathways. That is why your best ideas come while taking a shower. And while you are on your break, please eat more protein and drink some water instead of sugar and caffeine.

Choose fun activities.The best activities to keep the brain at its peak involve other people. Social activities reduce the body’s level of stress hormones and mastering new skills boosts brainpower. Taking salsa dancing lessons or martial arts classes add more brain cell connections than doing crossword puzzles. Keeping track of more than one bingo card with a group of friends is better than reading alone. The best activities combine mental, social and physical elements.

Change emotional channels. A trainer once instructed me to switch to gratitude every time I was tempted to give into the pain of an exercise. If I was grateful for my legs working and my heart pumping, I could accomplish more than focusing on what hurt. The same is true in life. When we get frustrated, angry or disappointed, if we shift our emotions to gratitude, laughing at ourselves, or creating a challenge to master, the task is easier and solutions are more apparent. Even if you have to fake the emotion at first, your brain will benefit. Acting can produce the same physical effects as real emotions do for a while. Before you face a challenging situation, try to visualize how you want to feel and behave. Then breathe and make the vision real. In other words, if you want to increase your productivity and creativity go out and have more fun. Learn to do the things you avoided because you thought you would look silly. You will be smarter in many ways.

“A mind that is stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimension.”

Oliver Wendell Holmes

An Empowered Workforce

If you love your job and workplace you don’t have to read this. If you aren’t happy, or you are a manager with troubled employees, please read this and pass it on to every other manager or leader you know.

This is not a brain tip. It is a rant. I simply cannot keep quiet any longer.
I have a confession to make. I have been training people in companies around the world for over 27 years now. I describe what I teach as sessions in leadership, communications and personal effectiveness. In truth, I mostly teach people how to cope. In other words my coaching and speaking is focused more on strategizing how to survive than on how to achieve.

During this economic downturn and times of chaotic change, this is only getting worse. I see managers using this excuse to continue to micromanaging, blaming and putting a lid on creative efforts. Isn’t it obvious that now is the time for creativity and revamping the old hierarchical cultures to make them smarter, faster, and stronger through open communications and participation?

Mostly what I teach is how to really see the people we work with…to hear them, understand them, acknowledge them and see their highest potential. From there, team building, leading, and collaborating are easier skills to implement.
Why do leaders who have read all the books, heard all the gurus speak, and attended all the seminars still manage by fear? They don’t include their employees in decision making, they don’t share information (good or bad) about the future, and they don’t trust people to learn from their mistakes and grow. Can we ever change this habitual behavior?

People don’t work well when their managers don’t trust and believe in them. When you take away their feeling of control over their lives and predictability about their future, they lose hope. Without hope, you will never get their best, creative effort. They will cope, survive, and try not to dwell in their fear.

Worst of all, most managers don’t work to develop their employees to be strong and autonomous. Rarely does a company pay money to develop their high achievers (I am thankfully working with a few who do). Most training for managers focuses on what to do with poor to average performers. What about developing the high-potentials? Shouldn’t a company focus their resources on their strengths?

It’s not all bad though…I do work with a few evolved progressive companies that recognize the world has become more networked, collaborative and accessible. They are easing their hierarchies, opening communication and engaging everyone to co-create. They teach their managers coaching as a leadership style. They engage their employees by caring, not by fear.

“If you wish others to believe in you, you must first convince them that you believe in them.”

Harvey Mackey

“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his/her vision comes from passion, not position.”

John Maxwell

We must never lose faith in what we do especially if the intentions are good. I still have hope that collectively we can change our lives and our world to the better, if only we took a genuine interest in it.

Do drop me a note on info@inspireyourmind.com if you still have hope, too. I would love to hear about your experiences in your personal lives or your workplace. Better still pass this newsletter on. I would love to further the conversation, not about what needs to happen, but how we’re going to make it happen.

There is something perverse about wanting more than enough. When we have more, it is never enough. It is always somewhere out there, just out of reach. The more we acquire, the more elusive enough becomes. – Author: Unknown

Why Don’t You Live a Little?

This topic seems to arise in my on-line conversations with clients a lot recently. The psychological sciences behind it are probably too complicated to discuss now, but just to put it simply, when are you going to learn how to ‘live a little?

Think about it for a minute. From the day you’re born you’re given objectives, tasks, things you have to go and get done in order to be able to have that life you’ve always wanted. In fact, there’s always one more thing to do, one more step that needs to be taken until everything falls in its place and you’ll be free to live the life you imagined. I know this is not the case with everyone, but for the average person this is exactly the kind of life we are currently living.

You start school, you always have some test or exam coming up and you need to ace it in order to get to the best secondary school, college or university. Then you will be ‘free’. Not!
Once university starts; you party and have a few laughs for a few years but you still realize the importance of being there. So once again you try to ace your exams, to get your degree. After all that’s what you’re there for, a degree. Why? Because without that degree you won’t be able to get that job you wish for, so that you can make enough money to live the life you’ve always wanted. You study hard, thinking that after your degree you’ll get that perfect job and the life you’ve been waiting for.

You get that degree, and now you need a job, you look for the job. Your thought process remains the same. ‘Let me nail this position’! ‘Please, then I can live happily ever after with my family, once I actually get the job’.

What’s important to understand at this stage in your life is this obsessive pattern that has been developing and reinforcing itself for years. Human nature (Or behaviour? Could it be possible that this ‘disease’ is forced upon us by society?) has reached a critical stage in the world today and believes that we never have enough of anything. How could a farmer live a happy life with a simple plot of land a few life stock and lives in a one room home, yet someone with a luxurious home, car, boat and trophy wife and kids never gains fulfilment.

Now that you have ‘that’ job, your life should be in order, or so it seems. Next up, you’re striving for that promotion, to make that extra money, to get that better car, the bigger house, the cooler furniture and in the meantime life continues to pass you by.

What people fail to see is that happiness cannot be achieved by these means, since real happiness relies on the acceptance of where you are and what you have. Ultimately more possessions become your main and only goal. You seek to make your life better by filling it with more expensive cars, clothes, jewellery, all in honour of your vain attempt to satisfy your ego, so that you can ‘start living that life’, that life you’re always wanted.

The rest speaks for itself, until you’re six feet under. I have tried to use my website as a vehicle to continue to raise awareness about the important things in life. However, you must try to open your eyes and see just how valuable this knowledge that I choose to share with you is. Since most of us never really live our moments consciously, we never really experience and appreciate the happiness that they bring. Therefore, this absence of happiness we are blind to see creates a huge empty hole within us which pushes us to need and seek bigger, better and more beautiful things in order to try to fill that void. This ill-fated mission to gain happiness pushes us into the realm of sub-conscious living; the type of living which never gives us pleasure with life’s simple gifts and forces us to seek something we will never find.

So for one last time, I ask all you readers, when are you going to start living your lives? When you graduate? When you get that promotion or start your new business? When you acquire that new BMW? When you own your own boat or win that lottery?

Why don’t you do our world and yourself a very big favour? Stop whatever you’re doing right now, go outside, take a deep breath and reflect a little on what it’s going to take to stop you from running yourself into the ground. Will there be a better time than this to start living? Tomorrow morning, take the day off and go take a walk at the beach or in the countryside. Give a random person a hug, a compliment or a simple smile. Give some quality time to a loved one. Go right ahead, do something extraordinary for a change. Go sky diving, learn to scuba, paint, cook, sing or play a musical instrument. Take the time to enrich your lives with more laughter, joy, love and compassion.

So for one more time let me ask you, when are you going to start living your life? When you win that lottery, or when you’re finished reading this newsletter.

It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, which prevents us from living freely and nobly. - Author: Thoreau

Turning Problems into Potential

How do you respond to the problems that continually surface in your life? If you’re like most people, you feel victimized. You will probably start feeling sorry for yourself; get angry, impatient, blocked and depressed. Why do we resolve to limiting addictions in order to avoid the pain these problems bring us? Why do we consistently choose to believe that problems spoil our life?
For those of us on a self-development path, problems and hurdles are precious gifts that open the door to deeper self-knowledge. Through them, we can identify and release the unconscious fears and negative beliefs that hold us back from higher consciousness.

So what are problems or blocks? From my perspective, they block the natural flow of energy through our being, creating stress and pain. Operating in the mental, emotional and physical realms, they indicate that something within us is out of alignment with the true nature of who we really are - our spiritual nature. Problems involve two different aspects of our human make-up:

• Much of our behaviour is governed by our subconscious mind according to our beliefs and habitual patterns and reactions. Unfortunately, we are generally unconscious of the beliefs that sabotage the best intentions of our conscious mind.
• We also have both a personality governed by our ego and a higher mind or more appropriately called – our soul. I see the soul as a unique expression of a life that bridges our individual physical being with a higher intelligence, whatever you understand that to be. As human beings, we all have some understanding of our personalities. Unfortunately most of us, though, have a limited awareness of our souls.

From the spiritual perspective, blocks offer our best and perhaps our only path to growth. Paradoxically, we can only get to the positive through the negative. Like it or not, pain gets our attention. Pain also challenges the ego’s perception that it is in complete control of life. If we want to be rid of the pain, we must do the work that leads us to greater consciousness.

So please learn to understand that there are great blessings in problems. Our troubles come to us for good reasons — to invite us to connect with our souls and to learn more about who we really are. You will be wise to accept the invitation. Should you choose to continue to deny the pain and strive to avoid, or numb it, the problems will keep on coming; they will also grow in strength and become even more painful. Our lives change when we become conscious that every experience of resistance and fear has meaning and purpose. Working purposefully through our problems helps us become whole, healthy and ultimately happy. Through them, we awaken to and can genuinely express new and more powerful aspects of ourselves.

"In school you get the lesson and then take the test … In life you take the test and then get the lesson." - Author: unknown

"The things which hurt, instruct." – Author: Benjamin Franklin

For other resources on learning how to grow through your challenges or living a more fulfilled life please log on to our award winning website at inspireyourmind.com. You are also welcome to continue to send in your comments, questions and/or suggestions. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and would appreciate it if you could continue to pass this knowledge forward and help expand our “Inspiring Minds” network by recommending this newsletter to friends and loved ones. Simply log on to inspireyourmind.com and fill in their details.

Courage grows by daring, fear by holding back

It is important to occasionally reflect on the principles of life. If we remember that the way we respond to fearful situations determines whether we become timid individuals or models of strength, we would choose our actions more carefully. Whenever we are struck by fear, we are standing at a fork in the road. One branch of the road leads to cowardice, the other to courage. One fork leads to our desires and dreams, the other to disappointment and despair.

Fear is a beacon, pointing the way to a new opportunity. It is an invitation to stretch ourselves and experience more of our potential. If we’re not watchful and succumb to fear, it will inhibit our growth. Growth is synonymous with change. How can we make progress by standing still? Yet, many of us resist change, preferring to remain in our comfort zone.
Imagine a developing butterfly refusing to leave its chrysalis (cocoon). Unless it’s willing to spend a great deal of energy to break free, it will not reach its potential and become a butterfly. But for those that make the effort, the rewards are great. The exhilaration of flight! What about us? Are we willing to break through our chrysalis (comfort zone)? If we want to soar badly enough, we will make the effort.

Fear is not to be shunned, but embraced, for it offers benefits. It protects us from harm by alerting us of danger. It is because of fear that we don’t race across a street with heavy traffic. It helps to focus our attention, so if we have to cross a busy street, we will be alert and cross with caution. Whenever we conquer our fear, we are exhilarated. That is fear’s gift to us. That’s why there are people who love skydiving or bungee jumping. Fear can also be a powerful motivator. For example, if a lazy employee is told to start performing or risk getting fired, he or she may make a dramatic turnaround and become a valuable member of the team. To be afraid of what friends think of you is demeaning. But to be afraid of not acting up to standards that you hold for yourself is crippling.

As we have seen, fear should be understood as a positive force. Any negativity associated with it has no basis in reality; it is merely a mirage, a product of our mind. Harmful fear, then, can be called False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.). True, we may have to experience some discomfort to reach our goal, but we mustn’t let that stop us. After all, he who fears to suffer, suffers from fear, and advances not. The fear of death casts a dark cloud on the ambitions of some. Why make an effort when life is so short, they argue. However, instead of being afraid my life will end, shouldn’t I be afraid it will not begin? The truth is, that unless I take immediate action and pursue my goals, surely life will not even begin.
Here are some quotes that I would like to share with you all today, they were spoken by some very influential people of out times. If you are the kind of person that strives to take control of your destiny and master your fears then these inspiring words will make your life a little easier on your pursuit to achieving your dreams and aspirations. Enjoy!

Don Miguel Ruiz: “Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

Dorothy Thompson: “The most destructive element in the human mind is fear. Fear creates aggressiveness.”

Eleanor Roosevelt: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”

Gertrude Stein: “Anything scares me, anything scares anyone but really after all considering how dangerous everything is nothing is really very frightening.”

Hannah Arendt: “Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival.”

Henry James: “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”

Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.”

Rosa Parks: “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

William Allen White: “I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”

Robert Louis Stevenson: “Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others.”

Percy Bysshe Shelley: “Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.”

Marie Curie: “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.”

For other resources on finding and developing your life purpose and learning to embrace change, please feel free to log on to my award winning website on inspireyourmind.com. You are also welcome to continue to send in your comments, questions and/or suggestions. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and would appreciate it if you could continue to pass this knowledge forward and help expand our “Inspiring Minds” network by recommending this newsletter to friends and loved ones. Simply log on to inspireyourmind.com and fill in their details.

The level of your success in your career, finances, mental and physical well-being or love depends on this one thing alone - you must make a stronger commitment to yourself. This simply means that by making a stronger commitment to yourself you are telling your subconscious that you want to live your truth.

The most common question I’m asked by my online life-coaching members is:
“How can I stay motivated until I get what I desire in life?”

The answer to this question is not as complicated as many of you would have believed. All I tell them is to develop the discipline to dedicate at least 20 minutes of each day to improve the quality of their lives. Once they commit to doing this, they will become stunned by their sustained motivation and renewed zest for life.

As simple as this technique may sound, the majority of people throughout the world simply go through life with no sense of direction and a complete lack of passion for life. They do not realise that yet another week will be over soon and that if they continue to do things as they did last week, this week will be no better or happier for them than last week. The time to grow and improve is NOW!

Goals are mysterious things too - they spring into our minds motivating us to succeed, fuel fires of fantasy about success and new found happiness, inspire almost obsessive effort to move our lives forward, and then - suddenly the fire goes out. What once motivated you to succeed, drove you to get up early and work late, now weighs in your mind as a failure. Don’t despair. The aftermath of these best intentions often feels like failure, here are a few simple tips you can use every day, they will provide you with the necessary motivation to carry you through until your goal’s completion. However, it is going to take a little dedication from your end. Remember, the greatest athletes, entrepreneurs, musicians, scholars and scientists emerge only after they have dedicated at least three to five hours a day for a decade mastering their chosen field. Now, all I’m asking you to invest is 20 minutes of each day to yourselves.

Tip 1: Convince Yourself

Repeat your goal to yourself again, and again throughout the day. Simple statements repeated aloud often can trigger the subconscious into action. Choose your goal, and pick strong words that inspire you. Say them aloud, pay attention to what the words mean. If your goal is to practice the piano, say aloud "I will practice the piano and make beautiful music!" or "I will make my piano sing!" Each statement rephrases the initial goal, but does so in a way that refreshes and revitalizes the initial excitement of your goal.

Tip 2: Tell a Good Friend

Talk openly about why you want to pursue your goal in the first place, and what you hope to achieve. Talking with someone about possible outcomes and the steps along the way can make the goal more realistic in your mind. Each time you talk to someone, the goal becomes less of a secret desire, and more of a path you have chosen that your friends can encourage you on.

Tip 3: Just Do It!

There are mornings when we all hate getting out of bed, but hitting the snooze button on your alarm once more will not get anything done any earlier, or see you to success.
Feelings are not facts, but they can catch up to the facts in time - doing what you know you ought to be doing NOW will eventually bring you a feeling of satisfaction as well as relief.

Tip 4: Reward Yourself!

When you complete a step in your overall plan, reward yourself. Little rewards along the way can make the overall job seem more attainable. Rewards do not have to be overly expensive to provide a boost. Allow yourself a night off every time you are proactive towards your goal, or treat yourself to a movie or a night out once you have completed and accomplished a major task. The goal is important, but how you choose to do it can be where the fun is. As you think about what areas of your life you wish to succeed in, remind yourself how capable you are repeatedly. Every little step you take towards your goal will continue to reinforce this belief. However, your movement must be focused in only one direction, forward!
Goals are meant to stretch us and push into places we would not ordinarily go. Let this journey help you grow and evolve as an individual. Recognize that, although you will not always feel the same level of motivation, an unwavering commitment can make all the difference here and you can stay motivated to succeed. You already know what procrastination and low motivation is costing you. And you know deep down that nothing is going to change for the better until you learn how to take consistent and sustained forward action towards your goal.

Tip 5. Love Yourself a Little.

When it comes to motivating yourself to be a better person, to do better at work or to create a happier relationship you need to understand the importance of taking control of your self-talk. You really need to know how to motivate yourself through thick and thin. Do you ever pay attention to the thoughts inside your mind? Do you ever notice the way in which you talk to yourself? Now be honest! Is it true that you sometimes insult yourself, curse yourself and say horrible things about your abilities? If you spoke
like this regularly to the people you care about they would probably leave and never talk to you again. There is simply no excuse for treating yourself so badly. Start to talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you deeply love. Be respectful, patient and understanding. Be slow to anger, quick to praise and be grateful for the opportunity to listen. Therefore remember to be on your best behaviour whenever you talk to yourself and you will find that you treat other people better as well. This in turn will cause people to respond more positively to whatever you say. These very people will be more inclined to help you get what you want.

Tip 6. Turn Up the Passion

Very often we go through our day with an internal dialogue buzzing away in the background. We mutter to ourselves about what we need to do without feeling particularly inspired to do anything other than what we have to do. This is not an effective strategy for self-motivation! What you need to do instead is to turn up the volume, inject some passion into your words and talk to yourself with enthusiasm. You would not have much luck motivating someone else to take action without putting some energy into your words. You need to do the same to motivate yourself and must learn how to be motivated at a moments notice! So, the next time you want to motivate yourself to do something - talk to yourself the same way you would if someone was standing before you waiting to be inspired. Speak loudly with passion and excitement either aloud or to yourself inside your head. The more energy you put into it the easier it will be to light the fire inside you that sparks you into action.

Tip 6. Know How to Feel Good

No matter how focused, positive and hard working you are there will still be days when nothing seems to go your way. It is on days like this that you must take charge of your brain and take control of your self talk. You need a back catalogue of memories you can replay to make yourself feel good. Music does it for me. I have so many songs I love to hear that I just pick one out and listen to it in my mind. In a moment I can listen to sounds that make me feel fantastic simply by choosing to. This is the secret to knowing how to be motivated in a way that works for you. One other way you can break the pattern of negative thinking is to play happy memories of people telling you how much they value and appreciate you. Hear them saying what a difference you are making and soak up those wonderful feelings of appreciation. Your motivation will soar and getting more done each day will just get easier and easier with eager people lining up to help you.

It really is your choice as to how you run your brain. Choose to feel great and your communication with yourself and the outside world will become remarkable. Use these tips repeatedly on a day-by-day basis and you will succeed in taking full control of your life, begin to feel secure and at peace like never before. I guarantee it!

A Passion for Life
Whatever your goals and aspirations may be, the key to success in life is the way you live it. You may not have a choice about exactly how things happen but you do have a choice about the way you respond to what happens.

Please feel free to continue sending in your comments, questions and/or suggestions. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and would appreciate it if you could continue to pass this knowledge forward and help expand our “Inspiring Minds” network by recommending this newsletter to friends and loved ones. Simply click here.

“You may control a mad elephant; You may shut the mouth of the bear and the tiger; Ride the lion and play with the cobra; By alchemy you may earn your livelihood; You may wander through the universe incognito; Make vassals of the gods; be ever youthful; You may walk on water and live in fire: But control of the mind is better and more difficult.” Thayumanavar

If controlling your thoughts is the one success that brings all other success, then why keep trying to find success in any other way? Learn how to properly focus and concentrate your mind to attract what you imagine is best and push aside all the barriers to having the life you have always imagined.

Maybe it’s Time to Wake Up!

I’m sure we can all agree that no intelligent, conscious man or woman would ever intentionally hurt him- or herself. No one would choose to ache. Yet the fact remains that all of us do hurt ourselves every day with bursts of anger or fits of depression or anxiety. Even at the simplest level, there can be no doubt: fear and worry take an immeasurable toll on our health and well-being. So, then, knowing intelligent people would never intentionally hurt themselves, but also admitting that we do just that one way or another, almost every day, how do we reconcile this contradiction? There is only one possible conclusion that we can draw from these facts, as startling as it may seem at first glimpse.

We must have been unconscious while thinking that we were awake! In other words, during those times of self-betrayal when we are hurting others or ourselves with negative inner states — even though our eyes were open and all kinds of sensations were coursing through us — we must have been asleep to what we were doing. We could not act against ourselves otherwise. Somehow we have become separated from the real intelligence within us that knows better than to punish itself. There is never, I repeat, never any intelligent reason to feel bad. If you will only let these truthful ideas prove this astonishing fact to you, one day this new understanding will go before you and defeat all that has been defeating you.

Now comes an important moment in our self-questioning. This is what we have been working toward. We are about to win the prize that always follows when we persist with our inner lessons. If real intelligence is incapable of hurting itself, then how can we call any thinking that leads to a stressful state intelligent? Obviously we can no longer continue to call such thinking intelligent unless we want to go on sinking from this present level of thinking.

Let’s review briefly. Intelligence does not cause itself to suffer. Yet, as proven, we suffer. This can only mean that a counterfeit intelligence has been passed off on us and its thinking accepted as our very own. There is only one way that such a sinister switch could take place within us and go undetected. During those all-too-familiar worry-packed moments, we are asleep to ourselves. In this strange psychic slumber we only dream we are awake, so can you see the solution to this sorry state? Since unawareness of ourselves is the only problem, then awareness is the only answer. A sting operation can only work as long as the victim believes that one of the players who is secretly in on the sting is trying to help him.

Looking For the Good in Others – a short story

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”

The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.”

“For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Which life are you living?

As far as trust for me goes, A few years back, I was betrayed beyond my wildest imagination and I literally let this betrayal consume me to the point where it affected every aspect of my life including my health. Recently over the last three years, I have come to the realization that trusting others really is in my control. NO one can hurt me if I don’t let them. I can‘t control the actions of others, but I can choose to control how I react to them and how far I allow them to affect me. I no longer have the idealistic view of life that I had prior to being devastated, which for me was the majority of the problem. It really doesn’t matter if I trust them or not. What matters is, seeing things at face value, seeing things realistically, and seeing people for what they are, just people and not little gods and goddesses or without faults. This point of view has helped me tremendously in realizing that if people try to hurt me, that is their problem, if I choose to let them, that is mine.

An American survey has found that the oldest people amongst us are the happiest and are more socially active than younger people. A sociologist from the University of Chicago who conducted the study says: “The good news is that with age comes happiness.”

Of course, a certain amount of distress in old age is inevitable, including aches, pains and deaths of loved ones and friends. But older people have learned to be more content with what they have than younger adults. This is because older people have learnt to lower their expectations and accept their achievements. Over 28,000 people between the ages of 18 and 88 took part in the survey. In general, the odds of being happy increased 5 percent with every 10 years of age.

The research also confirmed the belief that all unhappiness is caused by denial of the present. We think problems are caused by our situations in life, but attachment to the past and the future is the real problem. You cannot be unhappy and be fully grateful of your present situation. It is impossible to have a problem when your attention is in the now. When you keep your attention in the present moment, a situation is either dealt with or accepted. A problem means you are dwelling on a situation mentally without having any true intention or possibility of taking ACTION now.

Older people eventually learn to live in the now and accept what is. You get to a point in life where you finally learn to accept things as they really are. You finally realise that nothing is perfect.

The good news is that you have the power to learn to change your limiting beliefs and perspectives at any age; you do not have to wait until you are much older. The key is in studying the wisdom of the older ones and applying it while you’re still young.

Every week I will be using this blog to post positive and uplifting knowledge to help support you, guide you, inspire you to get the very best out of this journey called life. For it is time for all of us to learn to think differently, to think about what’s possible rather than what’s impossible. To expand our minds, and with that transform our lives and the lives of all the people we touch.