I give advice – its professional advice based on acquired knowledge and a lifetime of personal experiences gained throughout my extensive travels.

Since I was young, people have always chosen to confide in me. I should have known decades ago that this was my true purpose in life but it took me a while to realize even though it was starring me in the face all along.

The truth is that whenever I am presented with the opportunity to respond to a person’s heartfelt desire for clarity about their situation, I seem to access a power that comes from a source so much bigger than me.

In other words helping you brings out the very best in me. It feels like the opening of some secret portal buried deep within me and you, my clients hold the key to this portal.

Every time you reach out to me, be it through my online membership, my business training or personal coaching you benefit, I benefit and so does every single other member worldwide.

My deepest desire is to live freely and authentically. I believe that everything that shows up in my life is designed purposely for me to fulfill these desires. That it’s all a gift and that I must learn to embrace and appreciate it all.

I love life because what more is there? - Anthony Hopkins

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. - Robert Byrne

These messages are appropriate given the time of year we find ourselves in. This is the season to let go of our resistance to what “IS” for this is what holds us back from living life fully. It’s also a time for giving, and receiving, but most of all it’s a time to forgive and let go.

This is exactly why I do what I do. I do it to expand my mind, my life and above all my heart and help do the same for the people who have joined me on this journey.

I wish you all a very joyful Xmas and a New Year filled with renewed hope, love and abundance.

I wish you well always

Mark

How To Embrace Change

Change is a feature of our lives from the moment of conception until the moment we die – and perhaps beyond. Change is also happening all around us – literally, throughout every single second of our lives. In fact, our entire mind and body system is designed not only to deal with this consistent change, but to thrive on it.

Whatever your experiences to date, each and every one of you has the strength and ability consciously to change the way you think, to break free of past limiting beliefs and embrace change as a natural part of this great experience called life.

On a practical level the Inspiring Minds concept was launched to provide people that have the courage and will to grow, with a full range of tools for personal improvement and hundreds of students of change from all across the world have already tapped into this source of knowledge.

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple

We spend so much time putting our energy into our work, our friends, our families, and our worries, that we are familiar with only a very small part of ourselves, and hence may have a very limited and narrow view of our true potential. We are like great big icebergs in this respect – only a fraction of what we are capable if is visible either to ourselves or others.

With this image in mind, I encourage you to use Inspiring Minds as a catalyst for positive change. Learn to free yourself of any rigid or negative ideas you might hold about who you are and what you can achieve, because in doing so you will be pre-judging yourself unfairly. Instead, open yourself up to the potential of your infinite capabilities and talents. Whatever kind of change you are facing as you read this blog, you have the strength, the ability and mind power to face it and recreate it on your own terms.

A time of change is a time of personal transformation and you deserve to take part consciously in such an experience. So go right ahead, take a renewed interest in yourself, enjoy the journey of self-exploration for a change – you will surely surprise yourself. In fact you owe it to yourself to see just how truly amazing you really are.

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes.”
Carl Gustav Jung

If you’d like to find out more about how to “embrace change” by learning to appreciate yourself more and work with the changes and challenges you are currently facing in your life, please feel free to reach out to me on info@inspireyourmind.com

I believe that in today’s world gratitude is greatly under-rated. We seem to be so caught up in our addiction to acquiring things and gaining the upper-hard with others that we forget to take time to stop, admire, appreciate and celebrate what we have right now.

Life experiences have shown me that the more grateful I am, the more I begin to notice and attract things, people and situations to be grateful for. It feels really good to get into the habit to recall all the wonderful things in your life at the end of each day and feel thankful for them. It makes me feel humble and glad to be alive.

This experiment should not stop there either, experiencing a continuous appreciation for yourself, the world and everyone in it is the super highway to opening your life and attracting the circumstances you wish for. When your appreciation valve (in your heart) is 100% open for 24 hours in a row, extra little miracles start popping up all over your life!

Try giving appreciation to everything you see, touch, taste, smell and hear for one day. One day, all day long, see if you can do it! This little practice is one of the most effective ways to becoming the master of your destiny.

“Understand the obstructions you are putting in the way of love, freedom, and happiness and they will drop. Turn on the light of awareness and the darkness will disappear. Happiness is not something you acquire; love is not something you produce; love is not something you have; love is something that has you.”

Anthony de Mello

Being in a constant state of appreciation is the ultimate goal of life. If you are challenged in the gratitude department you’re not alone. Many don’t know the secret to this ideal experience. It’s like finding a precious pearl deep within the oceans.

First start paying attention to the little things you don’t appreciate at all. Find that which you are honestly thankful for and return to that thought and feeling as often as possible. Make a game of it! See how many times within 5 minutes you can intensify your gratitude barometer and re-ignite that calm and blissful state inside. Whenever you find that honest appreciation feeling for anything, or anyone, stay connected with it and within it. Soon it will grow and evolve into a habit of gratitude that includes even those things you never imagined you could ever possibly appreciate.

“The richest person is the one who is contented with what he has.”

Robert C. Savage

When you take the risk to appreciate what your mind cannot appreciate, an awesome expansive feeling begins building within your being. Whatever it is you’ve been in the pattern of not appreciating can and will be reversed. Perhaps you used to complain about the government, your spouse, her hair, his clothes, and lack of money you have in the bank.

It’s always your choice. Whatever situation it is, there is a potential seed of acceptance within it. By first finding that grain of acceptance inside yourself, you will harness a new way of experiencing the outer world and a whole new dimension of consciousness becomes available. When you appreciate that which everyone cannot, you step inside the collective mind into a realm of knowing that anything is possible.

“To be upset over what you don’t have, is to waste what you do have.”

Ken Keyes JR.

Try this exercise tomorrow morning. When you wake up and look in the mirror at yourself, take a few extra minutes to practice just looking and accepting what you see and feel. Just be OK with whatever your mind interprets, judges and projects onto that mirror image. Practice accepting your looks, your personality and your life just as they are. Remember, what you see with your mind is filtered through your imagination. Not everyone sees you the way you see you, we know your ideas aren’t always going to reflect the real you. Just practice appreciation first and approval will come later. Eventually in time you will totally accept what is here, on the inside and outside.

If you should ever feel off track, get overly upset about something, or simply trapped down in the dumpsters of your life, you are simply not focusing your attention upon what you appreciate.

The secret to mastering anything in your life is in how much FUN you can have within your experience. The vibration of appreciation is so enjoyable and contagious that it will change you and everyone’s lives around you! The heartfelt feeling of gratitude contains magical seeds that plant the most enlightening, loving, delightful experiences to enjoy!

You plant one seed of appreciation with your spouse today, and before you know it your love and affection for each other is reignited again. By planting 100 seeds of gratitude a day you’ll have an abundant future indeed. I challenge you to live your life believing that there is NOTHING that you cannot appreciate. Let’s see how creative you are. If you can appreciate something that you’ve NEVER ever been able to appreciate you’ll be one step closer to mastering this technique.

If you’d like to find out more about “the art of gratitude” and how you can learn to appreciate yourself, the things, the people and the world around you than please feel free to reach out to me on info@inspireyourmind.com

When researchers asked students to rate their ability to get along with others, 70 percent rated themselves in the top 10 percent. Ninety-four percent of people say they are doing a better job than their average colleague. Most men and women think they are both irresistibly sexy and good-looking.

Our illusions of superiority are so widespread; we think we are so much better than we are. Here are seven suggestions to help you transcend ingrained ideas of self-importance. All of these are designed to help prevent you from falsely identifying with the self-important ego.

1. Stop being offended.

The behaviour of others isn’t a reason to become immobilised. That which offends you only weakens you. If you’re looking for occasions to be offended, you’ll find them at every turn. This is your ego at work convincing you that the world shouldn’t be the way it is. You cannot become an appreciator of life by being offended. By all means, act to help eradicate the horrors of the world, but when possible always try to stay in peace. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place and leads to attack, counterattack, and eventually all-out war.

2. Let go of your need to win.

Have you ever noticed how people in power consistently try to divide us and keep us separated, our egos usually embraces this “conveniently created” battle and in turn attempts to separate us into winners and losers. Red party against the blue party, one football team against another, male versus female, one country over another, the examples are endless. By keeping us divided, our benevolent leaders keep us in a constant state of fear and in turn we become more manageable and submissive to their whims.

Whatever you do don’t fall for it; the pursuit of winning and being separate from another is a sure-fire means to disturb your inner peace. Why? Because ultimately, winning is impossible all of the time. Someone out there will be faster, luckier, younger, stronger, and smarter and back you’ll go to feeling worthless and insignificant in no time at all.

You’re not your winnings or your victories either. You may enjoy competing, and have fun in a world where winning is everything, but you don’t have to be there in your thoughts. There are no losers in a world where we all share the same energy source. All you can say on a given day is that you performed at a certain level in comparison to the levels of others on that day. But today is another day, with other competitors and new circumstances to consider. Let go of needing to win by not agreeing that the opposite of winning is losing. That’s ego’s fear. If your body isn’t performing in a winning fashion on this day, it simply doesn’t matter when you aren’t identifying exclusively with your ego. Be the observer, noticing and enjoying it all without needing to win a trophy. Be at peace, and match up with the energy of intention. Ironically, although you’ll hardly notice it, more of those victories will show up in your life as you pursue them less.

3. Let go of your need to be right.

Ego is the source of a lot of conflict and disagreement because it pushes you in the direction of making other people wrong. When you’re hostile, you’ve once again disconnected yourself from what’s actually happening. A heart-driven person is kind, loving, and receptive; and free of anger, resentment, or bitterness. Letting go of your need to be right in your discussions and relationships is like saying to ego, I’m not a slave to you. I want to embrace kindness, and I reject your need to be right. In fact, I’m going to offer this person a chance to feel better by saying that she’s right, and thank her for pointing me in the direction of truth.

When you let go of the need to be right, you’re able to strengthen your connection to that inner peace. But keep in mind that ego is a determined combatant. I consistently see people end otherwise beautiful relationships by sticking to their need to be right. I urge you to let go of this ego-driven need to be right by stopping yourself in the middle of an argument and asking yourself. Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the happy, calm and open-hearted mood, your connection to that inner place of happiness is strengthened.

4. Let go of your need to be superior.

True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be. Stay focused on “your” inner growth, with a constant awareness that no one on this planet is any better than anyone else. We all emanate from the same creative life force. We all have a mission to realize our intended purpose; all that we need to fulfil our destiny is available to us. None of this is possible when you see yourself as superior to others.

It’s an old saw, but nonetheless true: we are all equal. Let go of your need to feel superior by seeing the unfolding goodness in everyone. Don’t assess others on the basis of their appearance, achievements, possessions, and other trophies of ego. When you project feelings of superiority that’s what you get back, leading to resentments and ultimately hostile feelings. These feelings become the vehicle that takes you farther away from intention. This need to be special and superior will always make comparisons. It is established by a lack seen in another.

5. Let go of your need to have more.

The mantra of ego is “give me more, more, more”. It’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist that it isn’t enough. You’ll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving, and eliminate the possibility of ever arriving. Yet in reality you’ve already arrived, and how you choose to use this present moment of your life is your choice. Ironically, when you stop needing more, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you’re detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be truly satisfied and at peace.

With or without your consent life is constantly expanding and creating new life, never trying to hold on to its creations for its own selfish means. It creates and let’s go and as you learn to let go of your ego’s need to have more, you start to work in harmony with that life source. You create, attract to yourself, and let it go, never demanding that more come your way. As an appreciator of all that shows up, you learn the powerful lesson that…it is in giving that we receive.

6. Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements.

This may be a difficult concept if you think you are your achievements. The less you need to take credit for your achievements and the more connected you stay to these seven rules of intention, the more you’re free to achieve, and the more will show up for you. It’s when you attach yourself to those achievements and believe that you alone are doing all of those things that you leave in peace and gratitude.

7. Let go of your reputation.

Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all. If you speak to 30 people, you will have 30 reputations. Connecting to your inner self means listening to your heart and conducting yourself based on what your inner voice tells you is your purpose here. If you’re overly concerned with how you’re going to be perceived by everyone, then you’ve disconnected yourself from intention and allowed the opinions of others to guide you. Once again here this is your ego at work.
There’s nothing you can’t do, unless you are absolutely convinced that your purpose is to prove to others how masterful and superior you are and spend your energy attempting to win a giant reputation among other egos. My advice is to stay on course with your true purpose in focus, detach from outcome, and take responsibility for what does reside in you: your character. Leave your reputation for others to debate; it has nothing to do with you.

“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time.”
Deepak Chopra

“Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called Ego.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

For other resources on finding and developing your life purpose and learning to embrace life and achieve inner peace, please feel free to log on to my website on inspireyourmind.com. You are also welcome to continue to send in your comments, questions and/or suggestions. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and would appreciate it if you could continue to pass this knowledge forward and help expand our “Inspiring Minds” network by recommending this newsletter to friends and loved ones. Simply log on to inspireyourmind.com and fill in their details.

There comes a time in life when it’s time to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who know how to live joyfully and make you laugh so hard you forget about the bad times and focus solely on the good.

Are you mindful of the nature of your friends, family, clients and associates?

Do you often engage with people who take pleasure in spreading gossip, negativity or languishing in the past? Or do you share your time with people who are mostly positive, supportive and creative? If you are surrounded by the former, I recommend weeding your personal garden of joy killers, complainers, controllers and drama queens.

If today is the last day of your life who do you want to spend it with?

What do you really gain by allowing people to hang around who are toxic, living in the past, disinterested in self growth … OR … whom have little interest in supporting you as you improve, grow and change?

A golden nugget of wisdom shared by many wise men and women directs us to surround ourselves with a “healthy and positive” peer group. Why? Because you are most like the people you spend your time with PERIOD.

It’s not surprising that on your journey of personal growth your inner light will illuminate personalities that no longer suit your way of living. Your personal development doesn’t mean that you write somebody off and become an arrogant person either.

If you are serious about positive change, you will naturally stop engaging people who have zero interest in changing their stagnant or negative patterns. You will begin attracting more like minded happy people - naturally.

You have the choice to surround yourself with…

• People who know how to use their heart….love is an ability
• People who make you laugh
• People who are kind
• People who can laugh at themselves
• People who are open minded
• People who are comfortable in their own skin
• People who are positive
• People who are interested in improving themselves
• People who are curious…..have the love of learning
• People who are in love with life
• People who marvel at the beauty of nature
• People who aren’t afraid of being loved
• People who are learning to love themselves

After all, life is just too short to be lived in and surrounded by an environment of doom and gloom.

“Tell me what company thou keepst, and I’ll tell thee what thou art.” Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)

“Have no friends not equal to yourself.” Confucious (551-497 BC)

You Are What You Think

Thoughts are powerful. The more you examine your thoughts, the more you’ll realize this is the case. Thoughts are actually a form of energy. Don’t believe me? New science tells us that thinking a new thought creates a structure in your brain, a connection between neurons. Within your mind, you’re able to change reality at any moment right there in your grey matter.

Every time you think the same thoughts, you’ll reinforce the structures in your brain (known as neural networks) just like digging a groove in the sand by walking across it at the same place day after day.

Because your thoughts can change your physical world at any time, you might just want them to be positive whenever possible. Every day, we experience a far greater number of thoughts than we’re aware of, and unfortunately, many of them are negative and disempowering.

Having trouble believing me? Than I dare you to try an experiment. Make a point of noticing the quality of your thoughts today and the intensity of the emotions wrapped around them. If you want to replace your unproductive attitude with a productive one, you’ll have to pay attention to your thoughts and the emotions that strengthen or weaken them.

For example, if you insist to yourself, I’m happy that I’ll be meeting the love of my life this year, you might think that would help you attract him or her towards you. However, if you’re embellishing this particular statement with a negative thought such as I don’t really believe this; it’s an unrealistic goal, then you won’t be affirming your belief that you can achieve the goal. Instead, you’ll be feeling lack and insecurity. The results will not be what you’d hoped they would be. To manifest an aspiration or goal, you have to feel like you can accomplish anything!

You have to feel a powerful sense of abundance, enthusiasm, worthiness, and confidence. If saying “I’m happy I’m making an abundant amount of money this year!” makes you feel a greater sense of passion and prosperity, then use it as your affirmation instead.

Everyone is different. A declaration that makes someone feel unambiguously confident might make you feel unsure, and vice versa, so choose the one that works for you. You’ll find that if you attach enough powerful, positive emotions to your affirmations over a period of time, you too will start to believe them and belief is everything.

To fuel your beliefs with the proper emotions that support them, be aware of the language you’re using too. Thoughts such as I am making a million euros this year! might cause you to feel excited, rich, and full of possibilities. These words help you imagine a stack of cash in your wallet and a flood of checks coming in.

It doesn’t matter if all of this isn’t literally true at the moment, as long as the words, feelings, and images you create in your mind make you feel rich. Positive convictions will propel you toward your goals and give you the magnetic ability to attract what you desire if they’re accompanied by those wondrous, powerful, positive emotions.

“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact.” William James

“The difference between can and cannot are only three letters, three letters that determine your life’s direction.” Unknown

As is traditional for this time of year, many of us are beginning to review our past year and to set goals and resolutions for the year ahead. I have created a wonderful tool for goal setting and for tracking progress towards goals, which contains a method for goal setting which commences by reviewing your current situation across different areas of your life. My method outlines a four step approach to achieving what you desire in your life. The process involves asking the right questions first, thinking and reflecting upon those answers, goal setting and finally the creation of your resolutions. If you’re an Inspiring Minds newsletter subscriber, please contact me on info@inspireyourmind.com and I will help you create your own personal plan at no charge. In order to get you started allow me to share a few key tips with you today.

To begin with I encourage you to ask some provocative questions to help you think about what is most important to you at this particular time in your life. With that objective in mind, these are your questions.

1. What are you most passionate about?

Passion is the force that sustains your interest, energy and enthusiasm, and allows you to perform at your peak on a sustained basis. The more passion you express in your professional and personal lives, the more rewarding and fulfilling your lives can be - and the more you can accomplish!

Ask yourself: “What am I most passionate about, both professionally and personally?” Grab a pen and paper, and make a list - brainstorm your passions! This simple activity fires your passions and imagination if you do it with heart. You might also find it useful to rank-order your list of passions. Which ones are most vitally important to you?

Next, ask: “To what extent do I express these passions in my day to day professional and personal life?” The more you can express and align with your passions in your day to day professional and personal activities, the more rewarding your life can be. Is there a way to express each of your most highly rated passions more in your life?

For example, if one of your passions was creative writing, could you spend some time each day (perhaps by waking up an hour earlier each morning) focused on creative writing - and hence fulfilling and developing this passion? You might not immediately leave your day job, but daily activity in your area of passion will leave you feeling empowered and creative at the beginning of each day, and who knows - may even develop into publishing short stories, a book, and perhaps develop into a new inspiring career. Alternatively, you may be able to bring your flair for creativity and writing into developing materials such as marketing copy in your work environment. Similarly, if your passion is people relationships and your job is primarily financial analysis, bringing more of a people focus component into your job can leave you feeling charged and empowered.

Getting clear about your passions is one of the most important activities you can undertake, as your passions can both inform the direction you choose and provide the emotional fuel to take you on the journey to fulfilling them.

2. What are your strengths, and which ones do you most like using?

Your strengths may include assets such as your educational qualifications, your financial position, your mastery of English, ownership of your house, and so forth. What is particularly useful is to be aware of your key skills you like using, as building on these is a powerful approach to realising your goals.

For example, does it make a difference if you are using the skill commercially for profit or with your friends because you care; with particular types of people such as perhaps professionals or perhaps the less well off; whether you perform this activity at the beginning of a project or after its completion; or whether the skill is applied in relation to nuclear physics, alternative sipitual paths, or mainstream economics.

3. Who Are You?

Each of us is a complex individual with many parts or aspects to whom we are. Spend some time at this time of year getting to know you. There are many tools for getting to know yourself, and some suggestions include:

Write an essay or story for yourself about who you are and who you want to be. Such an essay might cover where and how you grew up, the people and events and influences in your life that helped shape who you are, your values, commitments, aspirations, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, style, and anything else that you may consider relevant. Talk about what makes you happy, your aspirations, regrets, beliefs. Be creative. Be honest. Let yourself give an answer that is different to yesterday or last month or last year - or feel free to write the same. Feel free to write something that might initially conflict with your values or other people’s expectations of you. Spend time with yourself. Go for long walks along the beach, or spend time in reflection and meditation.

Ask others. Ask other people in your life who they think you are. Get them to describe you. See yourself through others’ eyes. Is the ‘you’ they see the ‘you’ you think you are?

Challenge yourself. Put yourself in different situations - if you feel that your life has been rather boring , try something different this year - perhaps scuba diving, abseiling, snowboarding, debating, join a club, learn yoga, practice meditation, donate your time to charity, practice public speaking. Try anything to put yourself in a different situation, to let yourself see who you are in a different situation and circumstance.

The more you know and can say honestly about who you are and what makes you tick, the more you can effectively set goals that you can realise. For example, if you are reluctant to taking risk and value stability and certainty, then you might adopt a different approach towards your goals than someone who thrives on change. Knowing yourself gives you the power to choose paths that suit you perfectly.

These three questions are powerful and important at any time in our lives, and the more we know the answers to these the better the life choices we can make.

Don’t forget though that we are consistently growing and unfolding, and we CAN develop or discover new passions and strengths. Someone totally uninterested in reading or playing a musical instrument can discover a newfound delight in these activities, someone who was previously interested in global geopolitics might suddenly find the topic quite uninteresting. There are ebbs and flows in our lives as well as our passions and interests - and consequently checking in and asking ourselves what our strongest passions and most empowering strengths are on a regular basis can help us adjust and refocus our lives accordingly.

DO YOU KNOW OF SOMEONE THAT COULD USE A SHOT OF MOTIVATION?

SIMPLY CLICK HERE AND SEND THIS NEWSLETTER TO YOUR FRIEND

Each week my yoga instructor starts the class by warning the new students that they may feel awkward and that they will be getting the most benefit from attending class, more so than the experienced members.

He explains that muscles need to be challenged with new and different movements all the time. If they get used to specific movements, growth diminishes. You need to constantly be changing your routine to reap the best benefits. Feeling awkward is a good sign that growth will follow.

Isn’t this a great metaphor for life? We need new challenges to grow, and we need to learn how to delight in our awkwardness, whether it involves intimate conversations or learning how to dance.

FACT: We have to train our brains the same way as the muscles in our legs, arms or back. The brain needs new challenges on a regular basis to increase mental capacity. It also needs to be taken care of just as we care for our body to ensure peak performance.

Here are a few tips on how to build a strong and healthy brain.

Avoid chronic stress. Although stressing a muscle will help it to grow, muscles also break down if chronically stressed. The same is true for the brain. Chronic stress comes more from everyday worries than from traumatic events. Yoga and meditation may help with focus and physical performance, but the only way to reduce chronic stress is to learn how to identify the source of negative feelings, then let go of what is not in your control and act on what is. Anybody can deplete stress levels and enhance their brain functions by better managing their worries. An experienced coach educated in emotional intelligence can help you become aware of your emotional states and how to shift them at will.

Balance your work-rest ratio. Body builders don’t work their muscles every day. Muscles need time to heal if they are to grow stronger. The same is true for the brain. If it is constantly working, the result will be frustration, anxiety and loss of concentration. What’s worse, when we feel a little tired, we usually fuel our bodies with coffee? Running on adrenalin only decreases mental capacity. Instead, you should take regular mental breaks. Walk the halls, go outside for a breath of fresh air, or call a friend or loved one. Many studies show that people that take frequent breaks can work fewer hours and get more done. A renewed and fresh brain works more efficiently. Besides, when you are doing something “mindless,” the brain has a chance to activate more pathways. That is why your best ideas come while taking a shower. And while you are on your break, please eat more protein and drink some water instead of sugar and caffeine.

Choose fun activities.The best activities to keep the brain at its peak involve other people. Social activities reduce the body’s level of stress hormones and mastering new skills boosts brainpower. Taking salsa dancing lessons or martial arts classes add more brain cell connections than doing crossword puzzles. Keeping track of more than one bingo card with a group of friends is better than reading alone. The best activities combine mental, social and physical elements.

Change emotional channels. A trainer once instructed me to switch to gratitude every time I was tempted to give into the pain of an exercise. If I was grateful for my legs working and my heart pumping, I could accomplish more than focusing on what hurt. The same is true in life. When we get frustrated, angry or disappointed, if we shift our emotions to gratitude, laughing at ourselves, or creating a challenge to master, the task is easier and solutions are more apparent. Even if you have to fake the emotion at first, your brain will benefit. Acting can produce the same physical effects as real emotions do for a while. Before you face a challenging situation, try to visualize how you want to feel and behave. Then breathe and make the vision real. In other words, if you want to increase your productivity and creativity go out and have more fun. Learn to do the things you avoided because you thought you would look silly. You will be smarter in many ways.

“A mind that is stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimension.”

Oliver Wendell Holmes

An Empowered Workforce

If you love your job and workplace you don’t have to read this. If you aren’t happy, or you are a manager with troubled employees, please read this and pass it on to every other manager or leader you know.

This is not a brain tip. It is a rant. I simply cannot keep quiet any longer.
I have a confession to make. I have been training people in companies around the world for over 27 years now. I describe what I teach as sessions in leadership, communications and personal effectiveness. In truth, I mostly teach people how to cope. In other words my coaching and speaking is focused more on strategizing how to survive than on how to achieve.

During this economic downturn and times of chaotic change, this is only getting worse. I see managers using this excuse to continue to micromanaging, blaming and putting a lid on creative efforts. Isn’t it obvious that now is the time for creativity and revamping the old hierarchical cultures to make them smarter, faster, and stronger through open communications and participation?

Mostly what I teach is how to really see the people we work with…to hear them, understand them, acknowledge them and see their highest potential. From there, team building, leading, and collaborating are easier skills to implement.
Why do leaders who have read all the books, heard all the gurus speak, and attended all the seminars still manage by fear? They don’t include their employees in decision making, they don’t share information (good or bad) about the future, and they don’t trust people to learn from their mistakes and grow. Can we ever change this habitual behavior?

People don’t work well when their managers don’t trust and believe in them. When you take away their feeling of control over their lives and predictability about their future, they lose hope. Without hope, you will never get their best, creative effort. They will cope, survive, and try not to dwell in their fear.

Worst of all, most managers don’t work to develop their employees to be strong and autonomous. Rarely does a company pay money to develop their high achievers (I am thankfully working with a few who do). Most training for managers focuses on what to do with poor to average performers. What about developing the high-potentials? Shouldn’t a company focus their resources on their strengths?

It’s not all bad though…I do work with a few evolved progressive companies that recognize the world has become more networked, collaborative and accessible. They are easing their hierarchies, opening communication and engaging everyone to co-create. They teach their managers coaching as a leadership style. They engage their employees by caring, not by fear.

“If you wish others to believe in you, you must first convince them that you believe in them.”

Harvey Mackey

“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his/her vision comes from passion, not position.”

John Maxwell

We must never lose faith in what we do especially if the intentions are good. I still have hope that collectively we can change our lives and our world to the better, if only we took a genuine interest in it.

Do drop me a note on info@inspireyourmind.com if you still have hope, too. I would love to hear about your experiences in your personal lives or your workplace. Better still pass this newsletter on. I would love to further the conversation, not about what needs to happen, but how we’re going to make it happen.

Why Don’t You Live a Little?

This topic seems to arise in my on-line conversations with clients a lot recently. The psychological sciences behind it are probably too complicated to discuss now, but just to put it simply, when are you going to learn how to ‘live a little?

Think about it for a minute. From the day you’re born you’re given objectives, tasks, things you have to go and get done in order to be able to have that life you’ve always wanted. In fact, there’s always one more thing to do, one more step that needs to be taken until everything falls in its place and you’ll be free to live the life you imagined. I know this is not the case with everyone, but for the average person this is exactly the kind of life we are currently living.

You start school, you always have some test or exam coming up and you need to ace it in order to get to the best secondary school, college or university. Then you will be ‘free’. Not!
Once university starts; you party and have a few laughs for a few years but you still realize the importance of being there. So once again you try to ace your exams, to get your degree. After all that’s what you’re there for, a degree. Why? Because without that degree you won’t be able to get that job you wish for, so that you can make enough money to live the life you’ve always wanted. You study hard, thinking that after your degree you’ll get that perfect job and the life you’ve been waiting for.

You get that degree, and now you need a job, you look for the job. Your thought process remains the same. ‘Let me nail this position’! ‘Please, then I can live happily ever after with my family, once I actually get the job’.

What’s important to understand at this stage in your life is this obsessive pattern that has been developing and reinforcing itself for years. Human nature (Or behaviour? Could it be possible that this ‘disease’ is forced upon us by society?) has reached a critical stage in the world today and believes that we never have enough of anything. How could a farmer live a happy life with a simple plot of land a few life stock and lives in a one room home, yet someone with a luxurious home, car, boat and trophy wife and kids never gains fulfilment.

Now that you have ‘that’ job, your life should be in order, or so it seems. Next up, you’re striving for that promotion, to make that extra money, to get that better car, the bigger house, the cooler furniture and in the meantime life continues to pass you by.

What people fail to see is that happiness cannot be achieved by these means, since real happiness relies on the acceptance of where you are and what you have. Ultimately more possessions become your main and only goal. You seek to make your life better by filling it with more expensive cars, clothes, jewellery, all in honour of your vain attempt to satisfy your ego, so that you can ‘start living that life’, that life you’re always wanted.

The rest speaks for itself, until you’re six feet under. I have tried to use my website as a vehicle to continue to raise awareness about the important things in life. However, you must try to open your eyes and see just how valuable this knowledge that I choose to share with you is. Since most of us never really live our moments consciously, we never really experience and appreciate the happiness that they bring. Therefore, this absence of happiness we are blind to see creates a huge empty hole within us which pushes us to need and seek bigger, better and more beautiful things in order to try to fill that void. This ill-fated mission to gain happiness pushes us into the realm of sub-conscious living; the type of living which never gives us pleasure with life’s simple gifts and forces us to seek something we will never find.

So for one last time, I ask all you readers, when are you going to start living your lives? When you graduate? When you get that promotion or start your new business? When you acquire that new BMW? When you own your own boat or win that lottery?

Why don’t you do our world and yourself a very big favour? Stop whatever you’re doing right now, go outside, take a deep breath and reflect a little on what it’s going to take to stop you from running yourself into the ground. Will there be a better time than this to start living? Tomorrow morning, take the day off and go take a walk at the beach or in the countryside. Give a random person a hug, a compliment or a simple smile. Give some quality time to a loved one. Go right ahead, do something extraordinary for a change. Go sky diving, learn to scuba, paint, cook, sing or play a musical instrument. Take the time to enrich your lives with more laughter, joy, love and compassion.

So for one more time let me ask you, when are you going to start living your life? When you win that lottery, or when you’re finished reading this newsletter.

It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, which prevents us from living freely and nobly. - Author: Thoreau

Turning Problems into Potential

How do you respond to the problems that continually surface in your life? If you’re like most people, you feel victimized. You will probably start feeling sorry for yourself; get angry, impatient, blocked and depressed. Why do we resolve to limiting addictions in order to avoid the pain these problems bring us? Why do we consistently choose to believe that problems spoil our life?
For those of us on a self-development path, problems and hurdles are precious gifts that open the door to deeper self-knowledge. Through them, we can identify and release the unconscious fears and negative beliefs that hold us back from higher consciousness.

So what are problems or blocks? From my perspective, they block the natural flow of energy through our being, creating stress and pain. Operating in the mental, emotional and physical realms, they indicate that something within us is out of alignment with the true nature of who we really are - our spiritual nature. Problems involve two different aspects of our human make-up:

• Much of our behaviour is governed by our subconscious mind according to our beliefs and habitual patterns and reactions. Unfortunately, we are generally unconscious of the beliefs that sabotage the best intentions of our conscious mind.
• We also have both a personality governed by our ego and a higher mind or more appropriately called – our soul. I see the soul as a unique expression of a life that bridges our individual physical being with a higher intelligence, whatever you understand that to be. As human beings, we all have some understanding of our personalities. Unfortunately most of us, though, have a limited awareness of our souls.

From the spiritual perspective, blocks offer our best and perhaps our only path to growth. Paradoxically, we can only get to the positive through the negative. Like it or not, pain gets our attention. Pain also challenges the ego’s perception that it is in complete control of life. If we want to be rid of the pain, we must do the work that leads us to greater consciousness.

So please learn to understand that there are great blessings in problems. Our troubles come to us for good reasons — to invite us to connect with our souls and to learn more about who we really are. You will be wise to accept the invitation. Should you choose to continue to deny the pain and strive to avoid, or numb it, the problems will keep on coming; they will also grow in strength and become even more painful. Our lives change when we become conscious that every experience of resistance and fear has meaning and purpose. Working purposefully through our problems helps us become whole, healthy and ultimately happy. Through them, we awaken to and can genuinely express new and more powerful aspects of ourselves.

"In school you get the lesson and then take the test … In life you take the test and then get the lesson." - Author: unknown

"The things which hurt, instruct." – Author: Benjamin Franklin

For other resources on learning how to grow through your challenges or living a more fulfilled life please log on to our award winning website at inspireyourmind.com. You are also welcome to continue to send in your comments, questions and/or suggestions. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and would appreciate it if you could continue to pass this knowledge forward and help expand our “Inspiring Minds” network by recommending this newsletter to friends and loved ones. Simply log on to inspireyourmind.com and fill in their details.

It is important to occasionally reflect on the principles of life. If we remember that the way we respond to fearful situations determines whether we become timid individuals or models of strength, we would choose our actions more carefully. Whenever we are struck by fear, we are standing at a fork in the road. One branch of the road leads to cowardice, the other to courage. One fork leads to our desires and dreams, the other to disappointment and despair.

Fear is a beacon, pointing the way to a new opportunity. It is an invitation to stretch ourselves and experience more of our potential. If we’re not watchful and succumb to fear, it will inhibit our growth. Growth is synonymous with change. How can we make progress by standing still? Yet, many of us resist change, preferring to remain in our comfort zone.
Imagine a developing butterfly refusing to leave its chrysalis (cocoon). Unless it’s willing to spend a great deal of energy to break free, it will not reach its potential and become a butterfly. But for those that make the effort, the rewards are great. The exhilaration of flight! What about us? Are we willing to break through our chrysalis (comfort zone)? If we want to soar badly enough, we will make the effort.

Fear is not to be shunned, but embraced, for it offers benefits. It protects us from harm by alerting us of danger. It is because of fear that we don’t race across a street with heavy traffic. It helps to focus our attention, so if we have to cross a busy street, we will be alert and cross with caution. Whenever we conquer our fear, we are exhilarated. That is fear’s gift to us. That’s why there are people who love skydiving or bungee jumping. Fear can also be a powerful motivator. For example, if a lazy employee is told to start performing or risk getting fired, he or she may make a dramatic turnaround and become a valuable member of the team. To be afraid of what friends think of you is demeaning. But to be afraid of not acting up to standards that you hold for yourself is crippling.

As we have seen, fear should be understood as a positive force. Any negativity associated with it has no basis in reality; it is merely a mirage, a product of our mind. Harmful fear, then, can be called False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.). True, we may have to experience some discomfort to reach our goal, but we mustn’t let that stop us. After all, he who fears to suffer, suffers from fear, and advances not. The fear of death casts a dark cloud on the ambitions of some. Why make an effort when life is so short, they argue. However, instead of being afraid my life will end, shouldn’t I be afraid it will not begin? The truth is, that unless I take immediate action and pursue my goals, surely life will not even begin.
Here are some quotes that I would like to share with you all today, they were spoken by some very influential people of out times. If you are the kind of person that strives to take control of your destiny and master your fears then these inspiring words will make your life a little easier on your pursuit to achieving your dreams and aspirations. Enjoy!

Don Miguel Ruiz: “Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

Dorothy Thompson: “The most destructive element in the human mind is fear. Fear creates aggressiveness.”

Eleanor Roosevelt: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”

Gertrude Stein: “Anything scares me, anything scares anyone but really after all considering how dangerous everything is nothing is really very frightening.”

Hannah Arendt: “Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival.”

Henry James: “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”

Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.”

Rosa Parks: “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

William Allen White: “I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”

Robert Louis Stevenson: “Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others.”

Percy Bysshe Shelley: “Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.”

Marie Curie: “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.”

For other resources on finding and developing your life purpose and learning to embrace change, please feel free to log on to my award winning website on inspireyourmind.com. You are also welcome to continue to send in your comments, questions and/or suggestions. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and would appreciate it if you could continue to pass this knowledge forward and help expand our “Inspiring Minds” network by recommending this newsletter to friends and loved ones. Simply log on to inspireyourmind.com and fill in their details.

Some men see things as they are and say, ‘Why?’ I dream of things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’
George Bernard Shaw

2009. The Year of Many Changes

As we put the holidays behind us and dig ourselves out from underneath all of the holiday huppala, many of us engage in a ritual that any visiting alien might be puzzled by — New Year’s resolutions. Why do humans pick a single point in time each year to try and change certain things in their life, mostly behaviours and attitudes to help improve their lives, careers and relationships and make resolutions about them, and then proceed to fail at them within a three week period? Which brings us to right about now?

So, from a psychological perspective, it might be interesting to ask what exactly determines how many goals people set and how successful they are.

Research consistently finds that people who believe that self-control is something dynamic, changing and unlimited tend to set more resolutions. They believe it is possible if only they can put their minds to the task.

On the other hand people who believe that we all are born with a limited, set amount of self-control that one cannot change and who also have little belief in their own capabilities to carry out their own goals naturally do worse on obtaining their New Year’s resolution goals.

Basically, individuals with high self-esteem attribute failure to insufficient effort, while individuals with low self-esteem attribute failure to their own inability to cope. Higher self-esteem is generally correlated with a greater likelihood of achieving one’s goals.

What all of this means is that you’ll do better on your New Year’s goals if you believe that self-control is indeed an unlimited resource that we all have access to and can leverage with our resolutions. The more you believe in your own capabilities — high self-esteem — the more likely you will succeed as well. It also seems to help to set more goals, because you will be more likely to succeed at them if you do. While people with low self-esteem set fewer goals and always seem to go into the exercise with the self-fulfilling expectation of failing.

Over and above the self-confidence and high self-esteem you’re going to have to build the actual skills to make the changes you’re proposing for your life. For instance, it’s all fine and well to say you want to quit smoking. But do you really have any idea on how to do so? Researching the most effective methods for quitting ahead of time predicts better success in actually achieving your goal and of course, being ready to change mentally also helps. If you don’t want to change and so only make a half-hearted resolution to do so, don’t be surprised by your amazing lack of success.

So are you ready to give up on this year’s resolutions once again or are you going to give them another try? If you are ready to take them for another spin and want to have more success, do make sure you follow the following tips.

• Understand that you do not need to wait until the New Year to set some goals and/or aspirations for yourself. Turn everyday into an opportunity to change, grow, learn and evolve.
• Make a strong initial commitment to make a change.
• Have coping strategies to deal with problems that will come up.
• Keep track of your progress. The more monitoring you do and feedback you get, the better you will do.

Should you want more tips and ideas on how to be successful in coping with your challenges in life simply write to me on info@inspireyourmind.com and I will guide you on how to welcome change in your life.

Quote

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”
Alexander Graham Bell

You Think Therefore You Change

Every time we think, we change. We change the electrical impulses in our brain and we change the probability of what our next thought will be. So every thought we have, every dream we have, every fear we have, every emotional reaction we have changes the probability of what our next thoughts, emotions and reactions will be.

In other words we live in the playground of change for our entire lives, and the moment to moment choice that we have is whether we are going to enjoy the ride or whether we are going to get overwhelmed. It really is that simple. Problem is that the majority of people still believe that they have little to no control over the impact these changes have on us and especially our attitude towards them. What we don’t understand is that by learning to embrace change and flow with it we can have a direct influence all the things that are going to determine our future and also the future of the people around us.

In a sense we all have to learn to become surfers and learn to ride the giant waves of changes that are upon us. The next few years we will all be facing some massive changes to the way we think, behave and live. Being prepared therefore to learn to perceive the changes, and then finding ways to flow with them and compliment them will, in my opinion, become the most critical skills we can ever learn during this particular time. (Continued below)

Embracing Change

As a surfer you learn to monitor the changes in the power and the rhythms of the waves. Years of experience and determination and learning on smaller waves increase experience and the hunger to ride a giant wave.

First you need the motivation to learn to surf – to battle out to sea, pushing against the power and weight of the waves against your body. The sea spray entering your mouth and your nostrils adds to the tension and the anticipation as you watch and FEEL the changing rhythm of the ocean – waiting for the rush of energy before the wave that determines whether or not it is time for you to take it.

If you get the timing right, as a giant wave approaches you will ensure that the oncoming power-source of energy – which could grow to become 20 meters high and dwarf you. Your aim will be to ride the power of the wave and become a part of it. If you get it right, it will glide you along, and you will travel for miles, literally riding the energy of that wave to your total enjoyment, advantage and ecstasy.

If however you get the timing wrong, if you end up on top of the wave, or just beneath its crest, instead of riding the positive energy of the wave you will experience its negative power. The wave will break. The wave will break on you – and below you there will be space, sand or rocks. All the energy of that wave, that same wave, carrying you, on the surfboard, instead of transporting you to new heights, will smash you into the ground. You will have nowhere to go other then down. You will be bruised and grazed – and your ego severely dented.

The only difference between these two outcomes is that one of you went with the energy of the oncoming wave, literally with the flow of the wave and became a part of it. The other one didn’t. The difference in the outcome is absolute.

(Continued) Our relationship with life-changes is similar. Everything has its moment. If we miss that moment, then we may wander aimlessly for a while, or even risk being thrown aside by life. Just as the wave keeps grows and builds it’s strength and power for hundreds of miles, so, too, you build and progress through knowledge. If you learn how to ride these waves of change, learn how to use your self-belief and energy to go consciously with the flow of change, then you will be advantaged. If you don’t, change has the capacity to be highly destructive, and the adjustment can be a much longer and harder learning curve.

Quote

“What we resist persists.”
The Dalai Lama